Music has a powerful effect on our mental health. You may remember how music made you feel better when you were feeling down. Or maybe it helped you to express your feelings when other ways of expressing them did not help.
The same is true for children. Music can have a big impact on your child’s mental health, and you can take steps to make sure it is a good one. Read on to find out how music in general can help your child’s mental health.
As a music therapist, I could also write about how music therapy can be a good alternative to getting really deep into using music for positive purposes in your children’s lives. However, music therapy requires the presence of a qualified music therapist, which not everyone has access to!
Music therapists often work in general hospitals, psychiatric hospitals, old people’s homes, institutions that support people with disabilities, etc. In these cases, the goals of music therapy need to be clear and concise in order to support the patient.
On the other hand, music can be (and is) used by almost everyone, and with a little guidance it can have many benefits in your children’s lives, even if you are not working with a music therapist.
What are the ways in which music can improve your child’s mental health?
For now, we will focus on three. These three are:
- Encouraging and promoting positive coping in difficult situations.
- Calming the body and nervous system.
- Helping children express themselves through more than words.
1. Music can encourage and promote positive coping in difficult situations
Lazarus and Folkman (1984) defined coping as:
constantly changing cognitive and behavioral efforts to manage specific external and internal demands that are appraised as taxing or exceeding the resources of the person.
That’s a handful! Let’s unpack it.
Coping involves both the ways we think (cognitive efforts) and the ways we act (behavioral efforts).
These thoughts and behaviors are “efforts,” meaning they do not necessarily happen automatically. Individuals must invest energy and resources in how they act or how they think.
Coping is about the demands that occur both externally and internally in a person’s life. We all know that life is unpredictable and that any number of things can happen in our lives, from our parents getting divorced to us losing our favorite pen. We often think about these external factors. But the demands on our lives can also be internal, such as an illness or a way in which our body or mind works (or does not work).
Coping is not just about what is happening, but about the fact that these internal or external circumstances are seen (“appraised”) by the person as being beyond his or her personal capabilities and resources. That is, what is happening is beyond a person’s normal experience.
Finally, the way we cope (our thoughts and behaviors) is constantly changing and is not defined by a single action or event. One day we may be coping wonderfully with our lives and the next day not at all.
Positive vs. negative coping
Coping strategies can be positive or negative, depending on whether they help the individual deal with the demands they face in a long-term, sustainable way that does not cause additional harm.
Some positive coping strategies include:
- Having and consistently engaging in a support system – Reaching out to a friend or family member, seeing a therapist, and having parents who are open to conversation are great ways to cope with life’s stressors.
- Engaging in relaxation practices – Breathing, mindfulness, meditation, and other practices can help calm the mind and body during times of anxiety and stress.
- Staying active – Physical activity helps release endorphins and regulates the circulatory system. Exercising, running, and playing games that require movement with children can help regulate stress and promote positive coping.
Music can promote positive coping in all children. The above strategies can be easily implemented and enhanced with music:
Music can be a great way for children to engage with their support system.
It goes without saying that parents are an important part of a child’s support system. Children also have other family members, friends, and teachers as part of their support system.
Talking with your child about your favorite music and his or her favorite music can be a springboard to talking about other topics.
You can also encourage your child to learn to play an instrument, not just by talking about it, but by actually investing resources in it!
And be open to having them and their friends play music together in your home. Their music friends can be part of their support system, and playing music with them can be a coping mechanism during difficult times.
Music can promote and enhance relaxation practices
I have already mentioned breathing, mindfulness, and meditation. These practices can all be combined with music. As I’ll explain in the next section, music regulates the body.
So breathing to the rhythm of a calming song may be even more appealing to children than just breathing to nothing.
You can take a look at some calming songs on Spotify. And it’s also important to note that breathing and meditation can be done to the child’s favorite songs.
Talk to them about what kind of music they find relaxing, and try inviting them to close their eyes, breathe along with the song they like, and pay attention to their thoughts. At first, they may only be able to do this for a minute, and that is okay!
Music can help kids stay active.
Children tend to have more energy than adults, so this really depends on your child.
If your child does not spend time being active and moving, invite them to dance with you! Depending on their age, they may find this super fun or they may brush you off. Either way, it’s worth a try. You might even want to be silly and jump and dance around with them. Besides being fun, the movement is good for them and good for you.
The next way that music can have a positive impact on your child’s mental health is also related to the idea of coping.
2. Music has an effect on your child’s body, nervous system, and mental health
For a good while in psychology, it was assumed that to treat the mind and improve our mental health it was enough to work on our “cognition,” or in other words, in our mental processes. Now there is good evidence that it is at least as important to consider how the state of our bodies affects our mental health and vice versa.
Previously we were talking about music being used to promote good coping strategies such as relaxation and physical activity. We know instinctively how music affects our bodies.
Just think about your favorite tune and how listening to it makes you want to move and dance. We also know that music has an effect on our breathing, heart rate, and other aspects of our physiology.
This is the same for children, as music can make them want to dance. It can also help them regulate their breathing, heart rate, etc. Music affects our physiology, and in turn, our affected physiology affects our mental health.
3. Music can help children express themselves in a different way
Words are often thought to be the main or even the only way we can express our feelings. This is far from the truth. Body language, nonverbal language, and the arts are examples of other ways we express ourselves.
For children, expressing their feelings with words can sometimes be difficult and frightening. Music can be an alternative for them. The next time you want to talk to your kids about how they’re feeling, ask them if they can think of a song that expresses how they’re feeling.
Feeling a little more adventurous? Try asking them to take some sticks and play on a box to express how they feel!
Music provides opportunities for children to express themselves through its inherent qualities. There is a mysterious quality to music, and its connection to emotion is not something that is easily explained. Yet most of us intuitively understand this. Why do we turn to music to express our joys, our sorrows, our difficulties, and our emotions in general?
Coping mechanisms that simply rely on thoughts and words don’t have to be the only option. Try using music to help your child express his or her feelings!
Conclusion – Use Music to Impact Your Child’s Mental Health!
If you have children you know better than anyone that our times are not easy for children and families. The Covid-19 pandemic, social unrest, and so much more threatens your child’s mental health and well-being.
Children are facing demands that can easily overwhelm their resources and threaten their mental health.
Music can be there to help them cope without it being necessary for them to see a music therapist. I hope you can now see some ways in which music can benefit the mental health of your child!
I would like to write more on specific ways in which music/music therapy can help your children and their mental and overall health. If there are specific questions or resources that you think would be useful to you, please let me know in the comments!
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